Yikes. Sounds like the kinda woman who'd poison your food and then collect your life insurance.

Be afraid, be very afraid!

Kidding.

No, seriously...

OK, kidding a little bit, but...have your kids taste your food first before you eat it, just in case.

What you didn't know what you married?

Is this the first time she's been "sneaky"? How long have you been together for?

If you feel u cant be with someone who acts like this maybe you should consider divorce cuz it sounds like it might get nastier.

Good luck anyhow.

Thanks all
It is sooooo frustrating being in a mixed marriage sometimes especially between 2 cultures.
Her sister is a single mom who's husband just abandonded them, and has worked pretty hard at rebuilding her life.

My wife has always has a tendency to tell white lies a little too comfortably; it pisses me off sometimes but it is still workable.
But for some crazy reason, and I don;t think it is a cultural thing here, my wife goes waaaaaay overboard when ever helping her sister out. She will over extend help to her at our folly many times, only to have me lay down the hammer saying "Nooo we can't buy a car in our name and have your sister buy it from us under the table!, We will just help her buy her own car!" It just seems when it comes to her sister she looses all sense of reason and pulls out these outlandishes plans

So technically my wife has never acted sneaky since I squash any crazy ideas but it just drives me crazy that her first instinct is go around the system.

We had a huge blow over this latest thing, she on her own accord called my sister and mom and let them know she said some stupid things. I let her know there is only so much a husband can take and she needs to check herself and get her head on straight.

Dude, it IS a cultural thing. Every man I have ever known who has been married to a Sri Lankan, Indian, Pakistani, Korean, Phillipino or even Vietnamese chick has talked about having the same issues.

If I were you I'd start making it plain that you're not going to tolerate this kind of stuff NOW. Don't wait until it's too late...

Yep, it's definately a cultural thing. You see one of the things with many immigrants is that they will try to help their immediate family members when they come to the US. To many immigrants living and working in America is the ideal thing. (if they only knew...right!) But seriously, they will work to send money home to help the family and then eventually apply to have the said family members here with them to enjoy a better life.

Your wife know all those schemes because things like what she's talked about are what some people do to get over the system. She thinks it's ok becuase "everybody is doing it" and that's the way to go.

YOu have to sit her down and talk to her and tell her for one that you don't agree with what she's saying; secondly, that's not the way to help her family; thirdly doing it legally is better if you both plan to help them; fourth, she has to work with you and not to off on some devious scheme which will get her and you nowhere and possibly break up the marriage and last, you don't make any plans unless you do them together and both agree with them.

Of course I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life or marriage...but obviously you need to get her to see that her way of thinking just isn't the American way!

We'll it is in a strange way somewhat nice to hear that is IS a cultural thing.
And I have made it crystal clear on my stance with these shenanagans (-spelling?)

Thanks

This is why God told Solomon not to marry or have anything to do with other women from different ways of thinking/nations, unfortunately. Your married now so you have to deal with it. being in a complain mode does'nt help. look at it a different way and try to work with her in her ideals and ways. She is from a way of thinking that is third world. They have nothing usually. Your American gold. Remember, you are American US. We are better at solving problems. Come at her in that way of thinking. make it sound like what you want is her idea and listen, No! I mean really listen to her and you will find her agenda and your place and how she is using you to get there. In the Us we are usually realists when we have the correct information. Your not seeing something and you have an idea what it is and why. Open not close the reality and truth of you and your wife's problem. or you are going to be the only one burned here. Good luck!