I read something interesting once. It basically said that people have more creative powers than they are aware of, and when they give in to fear, they actually wind up creating the very thing they are afraid of just by envisioning it so strongly.

I looked back and saw, at least in my life, that it was quite so - at least for me. Any time I strongly feared losing something, sure as hell, I lost it.

Kind of psychobabbly, but there ya go...something to consider. If nothing else, saying "NO!" to your fear will save you a few gray hairs and maybe add a few years to your life.

Ciao

Hey Sushi.  Long time no see.

When ever my husband deploys to the desert, or anywhere "hostile" I find myself dwelling on what I will do if he is killed.  I can't control if he is killed or not , but there ARE things I can do to handle the possibility.

For example, we make sure wills and life insurance policies are up to date.  We have hard conversations about what he wants for me and the boys, things like that.

Once that is done, the "fear" doesn't go away, but I can release it most of the time knowing we have done everything we possibly can to prepare.  I would also insert here that my faith and belief in God's plan gives me comfort, but I remember you saying this wasn't your thing.

My suggestion....focus on the things you CAN do about your fears.  If you are afraid you're missing too much of your kids time, then take some time off, or use the time you have more productively.  Have the kids help prepare meals, mow the grass, all the things you do, include them, even if they make a mess.

About life being hectic, in my experience, it goes in cycles.  Hang in there, change what you can, (less activities for kids, less over time for you or the wife, less spending so you can do the latter.)  When you catch yourself worrying about things you can't change....consciously make yourself think of things you are grateful for.....it really changes your outlook.

Good luck I hope life gets better for you soon.

Hey guys, it has been awhile!
A heart felt thank you for your replies. good advice to live by.

Ugg... life has just become so hectic and not a lot of friends around anymore to talk with to let it all out.
Funny enough just "talking" about it here actually help me laugh and smile again.

Understandable! Writing is a good outlet and JUsers usually helps put things in perspective!


I can relate to the anxiety that you mention because you end up worrying too much and uncessarily, which I tend to do at times myself. So much so I was beginning to create a health crisis on myself.

You have to learn to let go, somehow, it's not easy, but you can take baby step. Fore example, I spoke to my hubby about me finding, making more time to do the things that helps me to relax, like exercising. We worked a schedule out, where he can go to the gym and I can on my days, and I've been so much more relaxed and happier since I started that! So it's doing little things, sometimes even one thing, that you can look at in your life that will make you feel more happy, relax and less stress and doing it and see if that makes a difference!